Bullying

October is National anti-bullying month. As a red head I was bullied when I was a child. Even today I can still hear the chants “Red head, red head fire in the wood shed”. This is the only one that was yelled at me that can be printed in a family newspaper. One involved the anatomy of a male dog and another involved my parents and a rusty pipe.

No wonder I was a loner.

While I was growing up in Buffalo, there was a family across the street that had 4 or 5 bazillion kids, or so it seemed. I remember them jumping me, punching me and sitting on me so they could pound my hands into the dirt. It always concluded with the threat that if I told anyone the next time it would be worse.

I was constantly tripped, pushed and kicked by the bullies in school but I suffered in silence because I knew if I reported them, retaliation was going to be quick and harsh.

In elementary school, I did manage to retaliate against one bully and gain some respect though. When we were sitting at our desks, he would reach across the aisle with his leg when the teacher wasn’t looking and kick me. This would cause the classroom to laugh.

One day I had enough and waited until he extended his leg, ready to torment me again when I grabbed his foot and gave it a yank. He ended up siting on the floor. When the teacher turned around and asked him what had happened, he stood up and said he just fell out of his seat. The laughter was the loudest I had ever heard. It seems he was bullying many of my classmates and they appreciated someone getting even. He never did it again and him and his “bully buddies” left me alone. Elementary school went pretty good after that.

We moved to the north towns in time for junior high school where I developed a small circle of friends. By the time I got to high school the bullying reached its apex. My books would get knocked out of my arms and I would get body checked into the lockers. I started carrying my books in a duffle bag so my stuff would not get scattered all over the place. The school administrators would always look the other way because the perpetrators were primarily members of the football team. They were untouchable and they didn’t want to have to discipline them with suspensions. I was the victim and that, like designated seating, seemed to be my place in the school pecking order.”

I rode the bus to school. Seeing as I lived so far from the school the bus was virtually empty when I got on it so I would sit in the back. One day, on the way to school, I was “pantsed” by a couple of the motor-heads to the delight of all the other riders. On my way off the bus, the driver told me I had to sit in the front seat from now on. I now realize he was trying to protect me but back then I felt like I was the one being punished. Nothing ever happened to them.

One of my major tormenters was the son of Russian parents (or so he said). Finally enough was enough. One day we happened to be in study hall together in the school auditorium where he was messing with me. The person in charge saw this and moved them to the front row, but I knew that after the study hall the bullying would continue. Time to devise a plan.

I got the restroom pass and headed to my locker. Once there, I grabbed an old notebook and filled it with a bunch of loose papers. When I came back, I walked in front of him and “tripped” throwing the notebook in the air. Of course the notebook and papers flew everywhere. The teacher looked at him and me and asked what happened. He replied he didn’t know and I said I didn’t know, I tripped over something. The teacher made him pick up all the papers and I had no more problems with him.

I had started to work at a local company and once again I was the brunt of abuse. One day I was in the bathroom and a person started lobbing balls of wet paper towels over the wall at me. Time to make a statement again. There was a spray can of germicidal spray so I grabbed it. I sprayed it under the partition and lit it with my lighter. A three foot flame came out towards toward him. No more problems. I had gained the respect I deserved.

Today’s lesson is this. You never want to be the type of person that gets yanked out of their chair, gets blamed for tripping someone or has fire coming towards them. Let’s make sure nobody has to remember that October is Anti-Bullying Month.

Norb is an independent journalist from Lockport.

If the government can do it, so can I

Holiday .
The song ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside” ‘ is seen as In the current era, and is being banned by some radio stations. The radio stations have stopped playing that classic song because it has lyrics that suggest rather than proposing an innocent situation of while being snow bound. SMH.
As long as we are eliminating everything that could offend the , I have a few more suggestions.
I think we should ban “ ” by Bing Crosby because this might offend people. We also need to eliminate “ Is in the Winter Night” by Enya” and “The World of Winter” by Bing Crosby for the same reason.
There are many, many songs that reference that should be forbidden because many religions in . They have their own . In fact the very name should not be permitted just because of the part. This word might offend the people, the . The . The and the followers of .
Now I see that there are some “ ” movies that people want to ban. The first of which comes to mind is the classic Rankin/Bass holiday offering “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” They want to ban this because an throws the out of the sleigh even though mentioned that . Then there is that with , the deer who are towards Rudolph, the dentist and the toys from The Island of Toys.
While we are at it let’s look at a few more classics. We have “A Story”. It’s just not in America unless there’s a hungry child in a marathon. And how about washing your mouth out  with ? Oh fudge, that is ! But was the norm back then. I am old enough to have this way myself. Good times.
Then we have the movie “How the Stole ”. I think it is very insensitive to call him a . Clearly he has    . Notice isn’t there even one person in all of Whoville. Then be aware of the fact that they didn’t actually accept the until he gives everyone presents! Looks like to me. And what about making that poor wear a heavy antler and pulling that giant sleigh. Someone call .
The movie “  ” features, , and a father his son. “Frosty the Snow ” has the magician Professor Hinkle attempting to Frosty by him in a greenhouse where Frosty is .
“Home ” is about a who is accidently home during the holidays by when the rest of his family goes to Europe. I think being by your parents is a bit of a problem.
I see that some people are trying to prohibit all related symbols in the schools and have suggested a ban on a list of themed items in the hopes of being inclusive and culturally sensitive to all of the students.
A list of the suggested items would include the singing of   . Even the on the is on the hit list because that’s a related symbol. I think some people are spending more time working on these lists than they are taking time trying to understand diversity.
We now can’t see scenes on governmental land due to “the separation of church and state” activists. Wal-Mart has switched its banners to “Happy Holidays” from “ “. It is Wal-Mart’s and other retailer’s participation in the moneymaking side of that is the real attack on this beloved holiday. One more time, the have co-opted a cultural tradition that most have enjoyed.
Enough is enough! I think I am old enough to decide on my own which movies I watch and which music I listen to. I love watching the old movies and listening to the old songs. I love sharing them with my grandchildren. I will always wish you a no matter who you are or what you believe. is the Holiday I celebrate. If you want to respond or because that’s what you celebrate, I promise not to be offended in fact I may respond in kind with your religious preference. I welcome your heritage as well as my own. Instead of us getting offended by each other, why don’t we just try to get along? This is supposed to be the season of peace on earth and good will towards men no matter what you believe, not the season of hate and discontent.
In closing, I will wish you a , Happy , Happy or a season, whatever works for you, from my home to yours.

Domestic Violence

woman with eye makeup — Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

Recently, someone I know was the victim of domestic violence. I decided to do an article on it and in doing my research I have found quite a bit of disturbing information on domestic violence and abuse. The statistics are staggering.

Domestic violence or intimate partner violence is more prevalent than most people realize. According to what I have read, it is estimated over one million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year this includes hitting, choking, pushing, burning, stabbing, shooting and other forms of assaults. More than 1 in 3 women and more than 1 in 4 men in the U.S. experience domestic violence some time in their lifetime. Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew with 85% of domestic violence victims being women. Females who are 18-24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence which includes rape. Also, over 30 percent of all women who are murdered in the United States are killed by a current or former male partner according to The Center for American Progress.

Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police. There are many reasons for this, some of which are related to the embarrassment victims feel like fear of retribution, fear of additional abuser violence resulting from disclosure, lack of resources and the feeling they deserved it. Those who have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner or stranger report being concerned about their own and their family’s safety if the incident is disclosed. A restraining order does not always work with person having to violate it before anything can be done.

Victims often need health care and often miss at least one day of work or school. Nearly half of all women in U.S. have experienced at least one form of psychological aggression by an intimate partner during their lifetime including some form of expressive aggression like their partner acting angry in a way that seemed dangerous and telling them they are a loser or a failure or insulting or humiliating them. The majority of women who have experienced intimate partner violence said it was by one partner, while over a quarter were victimized by two or more partners.

The most common age when intimate partner violence is first experienced by women is age 18-24, followed by age 11-17, then age 25-44 and age over 45 being the least victimized. For men the most common age is age 18-24, followed by age 25-34, then age 11-17, followed by age 35-44 and then over age 45. Among victims of intimate partner violence, 84% of female victims and 61% of male victims disclosed their victimization to someone, primarily a friend or family member. Only 21% of female victims and 6% of male victims disclosed their victimization to a doctor, nurse or the police at some point in their lifetime. It is estimated over one million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.

As I look around I see I have three children and six grandchildren. I also have a sister and a few cousins. It worries me as to which of these could be subject to abuse or domestic violence.

Society needs to remove the stigma associated with domestic violence and abuse and the courts have to provide stiffer penalties to the abusers. Fortunately the perpetrator in the case that prompted this article was arrested and is stood trial. Hopefully the victim I cited in the beginning can recover and go on with their life without any permanent damage.

Help for victims of domestic abuse is available at the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233