Why parents are always late

It’s the second day of summer vacation and already we are hearing Nana, Papa “What can we do?”We try to limit their screen time so we made several game suggestions. They answer no, they didn’t want to play a game today. We suggested that they read a book but that was also met with scorn so we decided we would take them to the park after lunch. But then, shortly after we made that decision, it started raining. Cortana had told me it was going to be a cloudy all day and she was right, it was cloudy all morning but she didn’t say anything about rain. I guess we aren’t going to go to the park either.

I have the feeling this is going to be a long, hot summer. My wife took the rain as an indication that she didn’t have to put sunscreen on the boys. Applying sunscreen to a couple of active youngsters is just about as much fun as it sounds. It’s like trying to put an octopus in a shoe box.

We decided that we would either take them bowling or roller skating instead. Offering them a choice however was a big mistake. One of them wanted to go bowling and the other one wanted to go skating. After much complaining and whining and because we had some coupons, my wife made an executive decision. We were going to go bowling. The local bowling alleys have a “Kids Bowl Free” program again this summer where registered children all get 2 free games a day and we take advantage of this. All we had to do was rent the shoes.

So we began the long process of getting ready to go somewhere. It took a while but we finally managed to persuade them get their shoes on and walk out the door. My wife had just got both of my grandkids in the van and they were buckled up ready to head out when the sun broke through the clouds.

Now they wanted to go to the park again. I was now swearing at Mother Nature for the sliver of sun light that showed up just a few seconds after we were all in the van. We had finally gotten two kids out of the door, ready to go and I was not in the mood for the persistence of a couple of young children. We said no because the park would be wet. After a lot of “aws” and “you saids” we told them there were plenty of days to go to the park during the summer. They finally accepted his.

Just as we pulled out of the garage, one of them decided that he had to go to the bathroom. This was in spite of the fact we had asked them if they needed the bathroom just 10 minutes before we left. They have bathrooms at the park but apparently he couldn’t wait. My wife threw the van in park and said she would be right back. I think the boys were playing divide and conquer. After what seemed like 15 minutes, the other grandson decided he too had to go to the bathroom. So I shut the van off and took him inside.

Of course they had to take off their shoes to walk thru the house and we were back once again at ground zero. As I sitting there waiting for them to finish, I thought, this is the reason why parents are never on time. I have been unsympathetic toward people with children, criticizing them for being late all the time. Now here I am, once again, running back into my house for yet one more delay and there are always, always delays.

I looked at the clock as we finally left and realized that the last thirty minutes had been pure chaos. Today was a bit quicker than it has been on many other days. The yelling, the screaming and the hollering, and this was just Donna and I. This was just one day, one attempt to leave, and one of many reasons why it takes parents so long to go anywhere.

We all eventually got out of the house, in the car and buckled up. If it’s not a book that a child thinks can be started and finished in a matter of minutes, or asking for just one more minute to do whatever ‘Lego’ thing has to be built right that second, then someone who suddenly can’t tie their shoes or has to use the bathroom.

It struck me that forty years ago, I was dealing with the same problem with my own children. It seems that nothing changes when dealing with small children. It doesn’t matter how long ahead of time you start out, children always have an innate way of making you late.

But seriously, just what is it about us saying that it’s time to go that makes our children have to go?

Norb is a loving father and grandfather who lives in Lockport and is frequently late. He blames children.

Surprise

Let me start off by saying my family is a loving and caring one, but even the holiest of angels has a bit of the devil in them. We can be quite devious when we want to be. My wife’s birthday is in June along with two granddaughters, daughter and my son. I won’t tell you how old she is because a gentleman never asks or tells but I am 71 and she is just a little younger than me.

My son asked us to join him at a favorite, local restaurant of ours with his wife and 8 year twin old sons to celebrate his birthday. Donna watches the boys after school so she was to bring them there rather than their home. He sent me an IM and several texts that this was all a ruse and the real reason for dinner was the give my wife a surprise party.

I take great pride in the fact that my wife, “Mrs. Sherlock Holmes” if you will, never figured out what was going on. We seldom can put one over on her but now that she is seventy (oops!) years old and with the turmoil (good) we have had at our house recently I don’t think she had the time to figure it out.

Even the twins were in on this one and you probably know how hard it is for an eight year old to keep a secret. It all started with the twins. At the time we had to leave for dinner, even though they had just gone to the bathroom 15 minutes earlier, they BOTH decided they had to go poop. They were told by their parents to stall leaving our house until 5:45. Of course I had to use the bathroom too and seeing as we only have 2, I was outside the bathroom door waiting my turn.

Donna was pulling her hair out. She didn’t want to be late. There was no way we were going to be on our way at 5:30 like she wanted and she didn’t want to make our son and daughter in law wait. She had lost control.

The one twin kept yelling thru the door, asking Donna what time it was because he was told to stall until 5:45. Donna wondered why he asked her to let him know when it was 5:45 and thought she was dealing with Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. Why did he have to remain in the bathroom till 5:45? The other grandson developed this sudden problem with tying his shoes. Even though I was instructed to stall her I didn’t know at this point what they were doing.

When we finally hit the road the boys were in the back seat. Donna likes to be able to see out of her rear view mirror and when the boys are waving their arms in the air she will actually pull over until they stop. As soon as a song they knew came on the radio, they started dancing in their seats, waving their arms, and Donna pulled to the curb. That’s when I realized just what was going on because up until then I didn’t know they were in on the plot.

Once we got going again I flipped down my visor and watched them in the mirror. They were whispering and then suddenly we would hear “Donna, Ian pushed me.” It was at that point I joined into the subterfuge. I would start yelling at the boys full well knowing that this was pushing Donna’s buttons. At that point she would pull over again and start yelling at them. They never act like this.

They calmed down and Donna started driving again. Once more time the boys started acting up and I began yelling. Donna pulled to the curb again and yelled at them one more time. All the time, Ian had a silly smirk on his face and I yelled for him to wipe that smile off his face. He took his arm and wiped it across his mouth but that didn’t last long.

The whole time they were giggling and that only added fuel to the fire. They are having a sleep over Saturday and she yelled their behavior caused them to lose their television privileges. This made them laugh even more. Donna said that’s it and she was going to drive to the front of the restaurant, throw them out and drive home.

When we got there, I put on my best “It’s hard to get out of her van.” act. You see I had broken my leg the month before and was still in a boot. This was quite believable if I say so myself. When we entered the restaurant and Donna told the hostess “Reservations for Rug.” The Hostess smirked a bit and took us to a screened off area and when Donna rounded the corner my family members yelled “Surprise!” Donna stopped dead in her tracks and was speechless.

We’ve only been able to trick her once before, at a Bison’s game, but that story will have to wait for another time because I am out of space.

I am an independent journalist who lives in Lockport as do my children and grandchildren. I also blog at norb-has-opinions.blogspot.com

September is National Prostate Health Month.

adult care cure doctor — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Prostate cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death in men in the United States. It is estimated that 29,430 deaths from this disease will occur this year. Most prostate cancer is preventable with proper screening. A simple blood test and an exam by your primary care doctor is usually all you need. I am hoping that by telling my story I can help save at least one person.

In June of 2009 I went to my doctor with food poisoning and casually mentioned that I was going to the bathroom frequently at night. He gave me an exam and said he didn’t like what he found. He suggested I have a biopsy of the prostrate, despite the fact my PSA was within normal range. I went under general anesthesia and they took 12 samples. Seven of the 12 samples came back positive for cancer. I was quickly scheduled for surgery to have the prostate removed.

The surgeon who removed my prostrate told me two things. First off, he said if I had come to him first, he wouldn’t have recommended the surgery as my PSA was lower than his. Second, he told me that I had a very aggressive, fast spreading form of cancer and if I had waited 2 to 4 weeks, he wouldn’t have been able to save me. Even with the surgery I still needed radiation. My recovery was not easy and I was off work for almost 7 months. I had filed for FMLA and was surprised at how supportive the company I worked for was.

The past 10 years have been filled with ups and downs. I’ve had 1 surgery that required hospitalization and 4 ambulatory surgeries. I’ve had 2 biopsies, have been to 3 different hospitals and have been treated by over half a dozen new doctors. I’ve had CAT scans, PET scans, MRIs, X rays and sonograms. I’ve had 5 cycles of chemo, three rounds of radiation and hormone therapy. I’ve had 2 deep vein thrombosis, 2 pulmonary embolisms and now have a mediport in my chest and a permanently installed Greenfield filter. I had so many procedures and had taken so many drugs I keep a small notebook.

In 2012 the cancer metastasized in the fatty tissue below my liver which was eliminated with radiation. Then in 2014, I was told I had stage 4 cancer, this time in the lymph nodes in my lower abdomen and in my chest near my windpipe. We began chemotherapy. The spring and summer of 2014 was a scary time. The chemo weakened me immensely. I would have one week where I was either bedridden or in the hospital, then a week where I was barely functional. I would then have a third week that I was kind of OK before I had chemo again. My medi-port caused further complications with blood clots.

It seemed like I was either bed ridden or in the hospital from complications for most of May and June of 2014 and was actually admitted to the hospital 3 times in June. Even with the chemo we weren’t making the progress we were hoping for. Dr. Yi from CCS said that I should try more radiation to treat the hot spots because I always responded well to it. Thankfully I did.

In the fall of 2014 the radiation along with a daily self-administered dose of chemo won! Although they said the cancers were gone, and there were no new hot spots, I am still taking the daily chemo and will always need to be vigilant.

My support network has been phenomenal. I think of is as the ripples you get when you throw a stone in a pond. The first ripple is my wife, who has said she is finally glad I am as stubborn as I am. Without her love, help and support, I could not have made it. Then come my children, which include my daughter in law Heidi who are behind me 100%, constantly pushing me up yet another hill I have to climb.

Third ripple is my grandchildren, who pull me along by bringing me immeasurable joy, laughs and love. Next I have friends and relatives who have shown me their true colors by their actions and support.

The following ripple is the many, many medical personnel, who with their skill and dedication, have enabled me to survive the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

After that comes the place I worked at, who supported me every way possible. From flexible work hours to working from home and time off when I need it.

Finally I have the people that shovel my snow, cut my grass and help me without being asked. I appreciate these acts of kindness more than I can say.

Sharing my story is important to me so I can let others know cancer is just one word not a sentence, that winning against the impossible is possible and that they are not alone in their fight. I implore every man young or old to undergo prostate cancer testing by having a blood test and an exam by your doctor. Don’t be one of the 29,000, your family and friends need you.

Norb is a writer that lives in Lockport but grew up in Buffalo. After living in Fall River Mass. for a few years during his time in the Navy, he returned to his beloved Western New York. You can write him at nrug@juno.com

Tagged with: Prostate cancer, PSA, Blood test, Support network [caption